I've discovered a super power!!

Who would have guessed that I have an actual super power!! Aparently I am invisible!! I had no idea I was actually invisible but after these past few weeks that's what I realized. Know how I figured it out?? I use to have quite a few friends who called me all the time and I use to hang out with them all the time but ever since I moved and they no longer have a place to crash when we go out for a night of drinking it's like I don't exsist. I really feel used.. Like they were only my friends to use me. They only talk to me when I initiate the conversation. They no longer take the time to talk to me. I knew the world could be lonely but I didn't know it could be this lonely.
On te bright aid of all this I'm on really good terms with someone I thought I never wanted to see again! I'm hopig to meet up with them sometime this week. It will be the first time I've seen them in almost a year and it's long over due!

That's it for now I suppose.
Till next time!
E

I was watching this TV show the other day and one of the characters said something that was exactly how I'm feeling about a certain person in my life.
"There is a big problem, because you took the next step all by yourself and you played the whole thing out in your head and you decided to bail before even giving it a shot. So this really great thing that we have, don't even worry about losing it. Because its already gone."
I just wish I had the guts to look this person in the eye and say something along those lines to him. It would feel so great to get it off my chest and make my life so easier.
Till next time!
E

Snowy Days amd Shameful ways

This weekend was a great weekend. Sofie's birthday was Friday night so Sofie, Sophie and Isabell walked over to my house and we partied it up. The snow started Friday afternoon and it just kept coming down. We got about 2 feet of snow I would say. Maybe more. So right back to Sofie's 22nd bday! We decided to make our own pizzas... except we forgot the pizza dough so we had to make a drunken walk to the store in the snow... it was a lot of fun! After that we ate and drank the night away with pizza cake and The Captain (he is such a great guy! I think I should marry him....) Saturday the girls were still here and it was one of Sophie's host kids birthdays so she and I hiked through the snow to her house so that she could wish him a happy birthday and give him his present. Then we needed more food so we headed back to the grocery store. Over all it was a 5 hour hike in the snow and it was exhausting. That night the girls and I had a chill night. We watched some movies and vegged a bit.. The first movie we watched was "My Life in Ruins" which was a really great movie. It was hilarious and just the perfect movie for a girls night. The second movie we watched was "He's Just Not That Into You"... Now i've seen this movie before and I like but there are things about it that bother me. Like the girl who over analogizes everything... shes just annoying!
The next day was Super Bowl Sunday!!!! The driveway was hidden in snow and I really wanted some fresh air and so i decided to go outside and shovel the driveway. The girls helped me and it took about 2 hours for the 4 of us to find the entire driveway. The snow was so heavy and the next morning I was in a lot of physical pain from all the snow! So sunday night was the game... and what an amazing game it was!!! Saints vs. Colts... and of course the Saints won 31-17!!!! It was such an amazing game!!! Me and the girls got good and drunk that night but unfortunately the Captain wasn't as good to me as he has been in the past and so on top of my immense body pain from shoveling i was also in immense pain from a massive hangover.
Because of the snow the girls didn't have school Monday and I happened to have the day off! But they also had no school today... or tomorrow or Thursday... or until Febuary 18th for that matter. Can someone just kill me now please? The girls are driving me nuts. They keep talking back.. laughing in my face. I can't wait to get out of here! This place in slowly killing me. With my host mom getting married and we're moving in with her new husband... I am stuck here doing all the packing by myself and I am getting REALLY stressed out... I can't even sleep anymore. And when I do..its not a very great sleep....
Well If i get through this wedding and this next few days and I am still alive then I suppose you'll hear from me then....
Till next time!
E

Out and About

So,
Today has been a kinda a great day! It snowed last night and so school was canceled today. Which I think its kinda really really funny because if we had this kinda weather that we have today and school was canceled the superintendent of schools would be a laughing stalk! Its gorgeous out today! The sun is shining and its quite warm. It is a great day to go outside and play in the snow! :) While out there i shoveled the driveway, built a snow turtle (which is kinda awesome I might add) and played in the snow with my two girls! I also go attacked by them and got a lot of snow down my pants haha.

Yesterday I went shopping with Sofie and Sophie! We went to Marshals and both Sophie and Sofie found really cute pairs of shoes and I found nothing... well no that's a lie... I found an awesome water bottle that says "Who says this is water" haha it suits me so well!..$5 bucks too!

I've been playing on a volleyball team... and I love it! I absolutely love volleyball and I will never be bored of it! :)

Valentines day is coming up soon... and I am not looking forward to it.. I pretty much hate the holiday and thinks its a complete waste of time and money. Who says on that on Fab 14th you have to show your love for someone... shouldn't you show them your love everyday? What makes Feb 14th so special?

In 1.5 weeks my host mom is getting married. I still need to find a dress and thanks god I don't need to find a date! That is a big weight lifted off my shoulders. A lot of her family is going to be here at the house next weekend and its going to be one crazy weekend! I have started packing things up aroud the house... I was really sad when I packed up the margarita glasses... I'd rather drink actual margaritas out of them then wrap them in news paper. The week after the wedding David and Barbara will be in Hawaii and then when they get back we will finally be moved into Davids house... I have mixed feelings about this though. In David's house I'll have a gigantic bed and a fridge that will be regularly stocked with food! But living in Barbara's house I usually have the place to myself and its quite relaxing! I get to so basically what ever I want whenever I want.. and no one bothers me! :)

So far Febuary is going alright... except for the snow and the snow that is to come this coming weekend... its threatening to ruin our weekend party plans!!! :(m Sofie's birthday is this weekend and I am so excited!!! Wait till she sees what we have planned ;)
Till next time!
E

2010... yeah... its gonna be a bad one...

So... its 2010... big whoop! I don't know why people think everything changes just because the date does. Reality check folks... its just another day and another year on the calender. All thoes problems that popped up in 2009... yeah they are still gonna be there.

When I rang in the new year... I said thought to myself.. damn it sure is good to be home. Spending so much time with my friends and family. Well more my family then friends actually.. no one was really around when I was home for xmas. But I thought 2010 was off to a good start... even though I did almost blow my hand off with a firework :S. I should have seen that firework as a sign. This year is going to be nuts. In the 2 weeks that has been 2010, so many things have gone wrong. On my trek back to Maryland, what should have been a 12 hour trip quickly became a 22 hour trip when my flight in Bangor for JFK got delayed by an hour.. causing me to miss my flight at JFK to Baltimore by 5 minuets. Then I stood in line at JFK for about an hour and a half to get on the next flight to Baltimore.. which was set to leave at 8. I though well yes I did miss my flight but at least Im on the next one! Well that flight was delayed an hour, then a half hour then another half hour. Finally at 10:20 we boarded the plane. Then we sat in the plane... at the gate.. for an hour. We left the gate and sat on the runway for another 30-45 minuets before we finally took off. I got to BWI at 12:20... at this point all my friends we in bed fast asleep and I had to pay for a $55 cab ride back to Crofton.

Throughout the next week little things kept popping up that just made everything worse. And then this past Friday, while on my way to the gym, I nicked a guys car... didn't see him coming at all... scratched the paint on his car and there was more damage to mine. But I found out today that its going to cost over $1000 bucks to get that scratch fixed. $1000 BUCKS FOR A SCRATCH!!!! wtf?! And if that wasn't the worst thing... things only got worse when I found out that my grandmother had a stroke this past Saturday night and is now paralyzed on the right side of her body. She will be going to rehab and will hopefully get most if not all the motion back but I hate that I am so far away and I have no idea whats going on.

So that is my 2010 so far. I hope to god it gets better... but right now.. I feel like its going to get a whole lot worse.

Happy Freaking New Year Everyone!!
Till next time!
E

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Right now I am sitting in my room with Sophie listening to "Best I Ever Had" by Drake... Hes Canadia.. Did you know that? When ever I think of him it makes me miss home.. and whenever I see Canadian geese. And I see them EVERYWHERE!
This week with my two girls was actually pretty good! Only had to deal with a minimum of crying and wailing and they were here at their mom's for the whole week so they were the nice little girls we know and love! They are spending the next week with their dad and I know they are going to come back completely different then when they left here. BUT I am not going to be here! Because I am going home to CANADA!!!! I am soooo damn excited to go home. I still feel a little nervous about going home though. I have changed a lot over these past 7 odd months. I'm kinda worried I wont have anything in common with any of my friends anymore. :S
On another note.... its snowing like mad here in Maryland right now... Just drove my car out in the snow for the first time and well lets just say... these Americans really need to get some damn winter tires! Or at least some tires with some tread! I was slip sliding all over the place! Good thing that at this time of night no one was out on the roads but me and a few other crazies ;)
So home on Sunday for Christmas...!
Till the New Year!
E

My life in MD so far..

Well.. I have been here in Maryland for just shy of 8 months. So far its been a roller coaster of a time. When I first got here I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea what I was doing. Moving to a new state... well a new country was terrifying. Now I am kinda scared to leave. I've been here for just shy of 8 months, like I said, but I feel that when I go home... There isn't going to be anything left there for me.
When I first got here I was scared but I had met a few people and everything seemed to be going amazing! Met a few really amazing girls at orientation when I first arrived in the States. Those girls and I became really amazing friends (Amy, Emma and Kayla... I love you girls like you wouldn't believe). Friends that I will have for the rest of my life. They are like my sisters. And when I leave, I am going to miss them more then they will know.
I also met a guy. I thought he was perfect. I had met him two weeks after I arrived in the States and I fell in love with him. Fell hard and fast. And it was the hardest thing I ever had to go though when he broke my heart. One of the worst weeks of my life. Couldn't eat and I lost 10 lbs... I never want to go through that again. That is why I've sworn off men and relationships.. I am growing old with lots of dogs and maybe a horse or two! Not the most ideal life.. but what can I do ya know?
I also met some really great friends. Back in May, a few girls from orientation went down to Virgina Beach and partied it up like it was 1999! Good times! Met a few Irish guys who were a blast to hang out with. It was a trip that I will remember for a very long time.. At least until I get Alzheimer's or something crappy like that.
After that trip is when things seemed to go down hill for me a little bit. My life kinda seemed to fall apart. Boy problems and friend problems. I found it very hard to make some friends that were closer to where I am living. So i struggled through the summer thinking about leaving and going home, quitting and just giving up. It felt like I was all alone in this stupid country. Then my classes started at the end of August. I started taking 3 different dance classes. Beginning Jazz dance, Introduction to Dance (Dance History) and a Hip-Hop class. I started getting out of the house more and made some pretty great friends. Jenny from Sweden, who is also an Au Pair, was in my Jazz dance class and we became fast friends. And through her I have met some pretty great people. She invited me to go to the Navy football games with her, out to parties, to the movies, and out with her and her other friends that she had made while down here and I finally felt like I belonged here. I met some other great girls to. Sofie and Sophie have becomesome really great friends of mine who I am going to really really miss when I leave. Isabell, Moni and Ana as well! I finally was enjoying my time. Which is something I never thought would happen.
Since moving here in April I have had a lot of good times and really fun and fantastic days. Random journeys to the mall, and to Bethesda. To Virgina and to the National Harbor. But I have had some equally shitting days too. Getting my heart broken like I did was a big eye opener for me. I'm not a little girl anymore. I am out in the world and I can only depend on me, myself and I. I am no longer the naive girl who left home to get away from her problems. I am growing up... Hopefully into someone my parents and my friends and family back home can be proud of. And I think the decision I made to move down here was probably the best decision I have ever made.
I recently found out from my host mom that I am not going to be needed next year here with this same host family. It really upset me.. Being told I am not wanted anymore. But maybe its a good thing. Now I just have to make the decision.. Do I go home? Back to my family and friends in Canada. Back to no job and a life that's not really going anywhere OR do I stay in the states and find another family.. maybe in Maryland or another state and start fresh with them. But that really scares me... I lucked out and found a pretty good family here on my first try! And what if my next host mom isn't as awesome as the one I have now!? I can basically talk to her about anything and she is as funny as hell. Or should I travel for a while... Save my money and maybe go to Europe or Australia? I've also been thinking a lot lately about going home and joining the military. I need some stability in my life and maybe that is the perfect place for me. Talking to a few people about it and they have said that I would fit right in there. But the thought of joining up scares the hell out of me. I don't know where I'll be in my future.. I just hope I figure it out soon. Because right now I am freaking out about where my life is going and if its going in the right direction.. or the wrong one?
For now I guess I am just going to try and get through these last few months here in Crofton, MD and try and figure out what the hell I am going to do with my life. So far its been a crazy ride.. and with the way things have been going, it is only going to get crazier!
So here I go.. Wish me luck!
Till next time :)
E