Well.. I have been here in Maryland for just shy of 8 months. So far its been a roller coaster of a time. When I first got here I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea what I was doing. Moving to a new state... well a new country was terrifying. Now I am kinda scared to leave. I've been here for just shy of 8 months, like I said, but I feel that when I go home... There isn't going to be anything left there for me.
When I first got here I was scared but I had met a few people and everything seemed to be going amazing! Met a few really amazing girls at orientation when I first arrived in the States. Those girls and I became really amazing friends (Amy, Emma and Kayla... I love you girls like you wouldn't believe). Friends that I will have for the rest of my life. They are like my sisters. And when I leave, I am going to miss them more then they will know.
I also met a guy. I thought he was perfect. I had met him two weeks after I arrived in the States and I fell in love with him. Fell hard and fast. And it was the hardest thing I ever had to go though when he broke my heart. One of the worst weeks of my life. Couldn't eat and I lost 10 lbs... I never want to go through that again. That is why I've sworn off men and relationships.. I am growing old with lots of dogs and maybe a horse or two! Not the most ideal life.. but what can I do ya know?
I also met some really great friends. Back in May, a few girls from orientation went down to Virgina Beach and partied it up like it was 1999! Good times! Met a few Irish guys who were a blast to hang out with. It was a trip that I will remember for a very long time.. At least until I get Alzheimer's or something crappy like that.
After that trip is when things seemed to go down hill for me a little bit. My life kinda seemed to fall apart. Boy problems and friend problems. I found it very hard to make some friends that were closer to where I am living. So i struggled through the summer thinking about leaving and going home, quitting and just giving up. It felt like I was all alone in this stupid country. Then my classes started at the end of August. I started taking 3 different dance classes. Beginning Jazz dance, Introduction to Dance (Dance History) and a Hip-Hop class. I started getting out of the house more and made some pretty great friends. Jenny from Sweden, who is also an Au Pair, was in my Jazz dance class and we became fast friends. And through her I have met some pretty great people. She invited me to go to the Navy football games with her, out to parties, to the movies, and out with her and her other friends that she had made while down here and I finally felt like I belonged here. I met some other great girls to. Sofie and Sophie have becomesome really great friends of mine who I am going to really really miss when I leave. Isabell, Moni and Ana as well! I finally was enjoying my time. Which is something I never thought would happen.
Since moving here in April I have had a lot of good times and really fun and fantastic days. Random journeys to the mall, and to Bethesda. To Virgina and to the National Harbor. But I have had some equally shitting days too. Getting my heart broken like I did was a big eye opener for me. I'm not a little girl anymore. I am out in the world and I can only depend on me, myself and I. I am no longer the naive girl who left home to get away from her problems. I am growing up... Hopefully into someone my parents and my friends and family back home can be proud of. And I think the decision I made to move down here was probably the best decision I have ever made.
I recently found out from my host mom that I am not going to be needed next year here with this same host family. It really upset me.. Being told I am not wanted anymore. But maybe its a good thing. Now I just have to make the decision.. Do I go home? Back to my family and friends in Canada. Back to no job and a life that's not really going anywhere OR do I stay in the states and find another family.. maybe in Maryland or another state and start fresh with them. But that really scares me... I lucked out and found a pretty good family here on my first try! And what if my next host mom isn't as awesome as the one I have now!? I can basically talk to her about anything and she is as funny as hell. Or should I travel for a while... Save my money and maybe go to Europe or Australia? I've also been thinking a lot lately about going home and joining the military. I need some stability in my life and maybe that is the perfect place for me. Talking to a few people about it and they have said that I would fit right in there. But the thought of joining up scares the hell out of me. I don't know where I'll be in my future.. I just hope I figure it out soon. Because right now I am freaking out about where my life is going and if its going in the right direction.. or the wrong one?
For now I guess I am just going to try and get through these last few months here in Crofton, MD and try and figure out what the hell I am going to do with my life. So far its been a crazy ride.. and with the way things have been going, it is only going to get crazier!
So here I go.. Wish me luck!
Till next time :)
E
No comments:
Post a Comment