Am I Suppose to.....

...Put my life on hold because you don't know how to act?
I realized this yesterday. I am sick of the bullshit people throw my way and I am over it! I am over the drama and over the heartbreak! I am a strog, independent woman, but I can't read minds!! When you expect so much of me...like knowing your busy... well I won't know that unless you actually tell me that!! It felt so good to tell a certain person off yesterday. I swore a lot and man I feel great today! I've since decided to say "Fuck it!" screw you... its ME time! I'm going to focus on me for a while. But when I say that I don't mean it in a conceited way. If someone needed me for any reason I'd be there for them in a heart beat. But no more boys distracting me. No more "friends" standing in my way. I am going to "do me"!!
.....
Now lets take a few minuets to watch the video that inspired today's post. It best describes how I'm feeling at the moment! :P (lyrics follow)

Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
but either way baby, I'm gone


Till Next Time
E






Am I supposed to put my life on hold
because you don't know how to act
and you don't know where your life is going
Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted, in a corner crying?
Pardon me if I don't show it
I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
but either way baby, I'm gone

chorus:
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new
I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it...... Sing!
na na na na hey, na na na na hey
hey hey hey
goodbye
na na na na hey, na na na na hey,
hey hey hey
goodbye

Cut my hair 'cuz it reminded me of you
I know you like the long 'do,
had to switch my attitude up
Thinkin' of changing up how I ride, No more
on the passenger side
too bad you miss out on the way that I drive it
I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
but either way baby, I'm gone

Chorus:
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new
I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it...sing!
na na na na hey, na na na na hey
hey hey hey
goodbye
na na na na hey, na na na na hey,
hey hey hey
goodbye

hey hey, hey hey hey
goodbye


Chorus:
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new
I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it.... sing!
na na na na hey, na na na na hey,
hey hey hey
goodbye
na na na na hey, na na na na hey
hey hey hey
goodbye


na na na na hey, na na na na hey
hey hey hey
goodbye
na na na na hey, na na na na hey
hey hey hey
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye

Ask most people what they want out of life

Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple: to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though, the wanting to be happy, that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to the state of bliss, the more confused we get. To the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling, trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were. Until eventually it hits us.. It's been there all along. Not in out dreams or hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.

Heard this and loved it.. just wanted to share it! :)
Till Next Time!
E

Got my middle finger up

I don't really give a fuck

So I heard this song from Rihanna's newest album (Rated R). The song is "Rockstar 101" and its amazing! I've relly been feeling down lately and this song just made me feel like myself again! I am so excited about it!! Read through the lyrics and have a listen to the song then tell me what ya think!

For me the lyrics are talking about how everyone should live.. "middle finger up, cause I don't give a fuck"
Its so true. I knew that but I was caring to much about what people were thinking and I never should have!!





Got up in the club
Posted in the back
Feeling so good
Looking so bad

Rocking this skirt
Rocking this club
Got my middle finger up
I don't really give a fuck

Rocking these diamonds
I'm rocking this chain
Make sure you get a picture
I'm rocking my fame

To be what you is
You gotta be what you are
The only thing I'm missing
Is a black guitar

I'm a rockstar
Hey baby
I'm a rockstar
Hey baby

Big city
Bright lights
Sleep all day
Up all night

Hey baby
I'm a rockstar
Hey baby
I'm a rockstar

Hey baby its..
Big cities
And bright lights
Sleep all day
Up all night

Six inch walker
Big shit talker
I never play the victim
Id rather be a stalker

So baby take me in
Ill disobey the law
Make sure you frisk me good
Check my panties and my bra

Wildn out
A crazy house
With my white jacket on
Wont you come
And sign me out

To be what you is
You gotta be what you are
The only thing I'm missing
Is a black guitar

Big city
Bright lights
Sleep all day
Up all night

Hey baby
I'm a rockstar



Till Next Time!
E

Trying this new thing...

Well.. So far my time in the USA hasn't really been all that amazing. Don't get me wrong I have had some really amazing times and met some really great people! Some of whom I hope I can stay in contact with for a very long time. But it seems like now its a never ending trail of bad news and bull shit. I was suppose to go to Virgina beach this coming weekend with Amy and Emma. Amy's boyfriend is in a fraternity and they are having some kinda of formal or something down there. We were all going as a group but we each had a date. Well I don't anymore.. I've been kicked to the curb for my "dates" ex I guess. So now I've already asked for the weekend off and have absolutely nothing to do. Amy and Emma will be in VA beach and I'll be stuck here.. And the girls I know in Annapolis.. well I don't even know what to say... :( Ive already been on my rant about that.



Lately there has been a lot of negativity in my life and the more I think about it the more sorry I feel for myself. I hate it and I'm tired of feeling this way. I never use to be this person. I was happy and optimistic! But now I feel trapped and alone in a completely different country. I wish I just had that one person I could depend on to really be there for me.

So I've decided to try this new thing, I guess more of an old thing. Pretending I'm happy and hoping that eventually it will turn out that I am no longer pretending. I am going to try and be as optimistic as possible and live each day to the fullest. I know its going to take a while to get back to where I was when I first moved to the states. But I hope that one day soon I'll be me again.

I guess that's all for now.
Till next time
E

I'm here for a good time

Not a long time!



That's right folks.. my first year is over, finished, finito (sp? lol)!! The year went by so unbelievably fast... Now were on to my second and its off to a bit of a rocky start... the new family is great but my personal life... not so much :( I went through a lot my first year.. I honestly thought that I wouldn't make it through some of it.. but I survived.. for the most part.. might be missing a piece of my heart but it belongs to someone else now. I doubt I'll ever get it back but I think Ive come to terms with that.. or at least i hope so.

Friends now a days are a tricky thing. Remember back in the day when you were 5 or 6 and in kindergarten and all you had to do was share your snack with the girl or boy sitting beside you and you were friends for life? Well I do!! I am still great friends with some of those people I use to share snacks with! And thank god for them.. I don't know where Id be with out them. But making good friends when your an adult has got to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. I've formed a few friendships this year and I honestly thought we'd be great friends till the end but boy was I wrong! Don't get me wrong.. they, for the most part, are great people. I mean yes everyone has their flaws but come on! If you have a problem with someone talk it out.. Don't bitch about it to everyone else and then let those other people tell me that you have a problem with me. And I know what your thinking.. If I think they have a problem with me I should approach them right?!? Well I've tried.. its kinda hard when they ignore you or blow you off. Or when you try to talk to them about something important and they just sit there and stare at you like your speaking a foreign language... I obviously came to you with a problem because I thought we were friends and I thought you could support me. But forget about it! Whats the point in trying to talk to anyone anymore about anything!! Everyone is just worried about whats going on in their lives. I am guilty of this too. Not trying to say I'm perfect.. I am FARRRRR from it. But I, for the most part, think that I am a good listener.. yes i zone out once and a while but who doesn't really?!

I guess what I am trying to say is I wish people would give me a chance and have a little faith in me...
I sure hope my second year is a lot better then my first!



Thats all for now folks,
Till next time
Much love!!
E