Oh boy... Oh boy oh boy oh boy... :/

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I seemed to develop a bit of a brain freeze, brain fart.... whatever you want to call it. I feel like I've got some many things going on... But absolutly nothing at the same time. My life feels lifeless! 

So what's going on you might ask... Well my host family in Pasadena asked for a rematch. And within a few days I found, what I hope to be, a wonderful family! 4 kids 13, 12, 11, and 6 (boy, girl, girl, boy). My new host mom has told me that the girls fight and the older girl can be quite a bitch. THAT should be intresting! The mom and I talked on the phone for an Interview. We talked for an hour and a half. The coversation never seemed to end but I didn't mind. I'm so stoked that we seem to get along so well! 

Tomorrow is my last full day with the family. I'm actually really excited to leave this house. The boys are driving me INSANE!! I'm literally going crazy. If they arnt yelling about not getting their way they are crying because one of them hit or threw or slapped or bit the other one... CRAZINESS!!

Another thing is, and I know I sound like a broken record bu m gonna say it anyway, is that no one seems to care that I'm leaving Maryland. Not even the guy I was dating on and off again... All he said was... Well I'll miss you... Well thanks! But good fucking ridence! I don't need a guy who says his misses me all the time but doesn't actually take the time or make the effort to see me... So fuck him!! Fucking fuck! And that's just the tip of the ice burgh. Non of my "friends" care that I'm leaving... Most people when they leave it's been an au pair tradition to have a bit of farewell dinner at applebees. Ive decided to say fuck it with that... No one will come anyway. Because most au pairs dontgive a fuck about anyone but themselves... 

On top of all this my best friend Amy, who is from England, is going back to Liverpool. The two of us have grown reallyclose and I really can't imagine being here without here... I love her... She is possible the best friend I've ever had and it sucks so god damn much that she's leaving. I do feel a little like shes abandoning me... I get why shes leaving i realy do.. Shes homesick and her host family is crazy... But still it really just wont be the same wih out her here. But on the bright side, I will see her at least one more time and that will be her wedding day!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe she's getting married. AND she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids :D!!! It will be the first wedding I'll be in except that one when I was really little and I was a flower girl. But I barely remember that... So it doesn't count. 

Amy... I'll miss you like crazy girl!!

I suppose that's all for now folks.
Till next time!
E    

New Beggining or Unhappy Ending?

I have some sad news. Saturday morning my host dad told me that my surrent host family wants to rematch. So now I am freaking out a little. I have no idea where I'll be in the next few weeks. I want to stay in the Annapolis area. I love it around here.
BUTTTTT I think I might have found an awesome family! The are in Virgina and they sound great! haha
Wish me luck!!
Till next time!
E

Finally!

I am pretty confident I know what I want to do when I go back to Canada! I am going to join the Canadian Forces!!! And I am really excited about it. Today I did some research online and took a loot at the forces website. Its just what I was ment to do and I believe that with all my heart! I am so excited!!

There is a lot I have to do to prepare for when I go home. First I need to get into shape and thats where I need your help! Any advice would be amazing! Because losing weight for me is hard. I love food way to much. I need to work on my self control. Its especially hard when there is so much junk food in my house and no one else is focused on getting healthy! Obviously I know that eating right and excercise is key, but if anyone else has some advice... it would be greatly appreciated! The second thing i need to do when I get home is get laser eye surgery! I need to get my eyes corrected before I join up.. it just makes sense and I am sick and tired of glasses and contacts!!! Its so agravating and expensive to have both! Im really getting sick of sticking my fingers in my eyes to put my contacts in!! haha so they are going first thing! Gotta save up the mula for that. Its not going to be cheap!

On a side note, in my last post, I stated that I am focusing on me. I have stopped looking for someone to make me happy... and so far its going great. I am depending on myself to make ME happy. I am trying to put myself out there more and trying to put more trust in people. So far thats the hardest part. After being betrayed the way I was I don't trust anyone right now. I always think the worst of situations and take everything someone says with more then one grain of salt.

So yeah. As of right now... thats the plan!!
Like I said. Any advice or words of encouagment would be great!!

Till Next Time!
E